I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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