The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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