Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
