I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
