Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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