im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
