fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
