i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
