I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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