You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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