There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
