So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My life is pants optional.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
