Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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