i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
