they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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