I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
