I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
