Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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