I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
as a side note pls kill me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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