break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
