I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
