i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
