Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
