pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
