I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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