im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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