I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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