you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
birth control should be required to get into college
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize