so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
