Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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