How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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