I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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