why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need to calm my uterus...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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