For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
