somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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