i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
