Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
