Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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