the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
are you so shy because you have an std?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
