just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
