it wasn't lemon gatorade
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
