butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize