Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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