My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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