Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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