Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
