I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
