Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
