I met the friendliest cop last night
Its about making memories worth repressing
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
