Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
