He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All the doctor said was why
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
