I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
