So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
