hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
