sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
this just has baby written all over it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
