yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
