im drinking this country out of the recession.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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