So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
